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Monday, April 15, 2013

Marriage--More than I Expected

I got married at the tender age of 19-not-quite-20.  I don't regret it one bit--my husband and I are growing up together, get to spend tons of time together, get to learn and experience life together, and will have several married years before we start having children.  Marrying my man when I did is the best decision I ever made.

But I'll be the first to admit that I really had no idea what I was getting myself into when I got married!  Marriage has brought a lot of surprises--some pleasant, some not as much.

I didn't expect that marriage would force me to mature so quickly.  In the last almost-two years, I've had to learn to really be an adult.  I've had to learn how to be selfless (that's a work in progress).  I've had to learn how to handle finances, jobs, taxes, car repairs, medical issues, and more.  I have learned to release myself from childhood and from the mindset of being dependent on my parents.  Now, my husband and I take care of each other.  I knew, cognitively, that all those things would come with marriage, but I didn't realize how quickly I (and my husband) would grow up.

I didn't expect how hard marriage would be.  It's so worth it, but it's not always easy.

It's harder than I expected to come up with new date night ideas so we don't fall into the rut of "same ol', same ol'."  To keep the house clean, orderly, and comfortable, day in and day out.  To keep up with the never-ending jobs of laundry and dishes and scrubbing the toilet.  To plan healthy, yummy meals...three times a day, every day (although this job comes more easily to me than others).  I didn't expect it to take so much work to die to myself every day and intentionally love my husband the way he needs to be loved, not the way I want to be loved.  To bite my tongue instead of letting an angry word slip past my lips when my temper flares.  It's a lot more work than I expected.

But there are other things about marriage that are more than I expected.  Amazing, wonderful things!

This love that comes out of my heart, directed at this person with whom I share, literally everything,  is beyond anything I have ever experienced or could ever imagine.  I never knew it was possible to love someone so much... or, just as wondrous, to be loved by them so much.  Now I know why God uses the example of marriage to explain to us how much he loves us.  It's a love that surpasses description, and cannot be expressed in words.

Marriage is more full of joy than I expected.  You know the old adage about how two people can halve each other's sorrows and double each other's joys?  Well, in marriage, that is SO true.  Happy things are twice as happy.  Hard things are twice as easy to bear.  I mean, I get to spend the majority of my time with my best friend, who happens to be a really fun person to spend time with, who makes me laugh, who puts a lot of effort into making me happy, who directs me to my Jesus, and who loves me more than I will ever understand (as explained above).  How much better can life get?

In marriage, there is more laughter than I expected.  There is more encouragement.  I didn't realize how much of a team we would be.  We're each other's "buddies"--we always have the other's back, and we might sometimes get on each other's nerves, but just let someone else say something mean about us and watch out!  We're there for each other.  And let's just say... there are other aspects of marriage that have far surpassed my expectations, and I couldn't be more thrilled!

Marriage is so much more work than I expected...and sometimes, it brings pain, because we can hurt the most the ones we love the most.
But those hard things are so worth it, because in marriage, the love, joy, and happiness are so much more than I expected.  I am in awe of this gift with which God has blessed us.

And I can't wait to see what other unexpected things life brings our marriage.  The future isn't scary, because God is already there, leading us on, and I know that my husband and I will be hand-in-hand every step of the way.

What in your life has been more than you expected?  Share in the comments!

Linking with: Exceptionalistic, A Proverbs 31 Wife, What Joy is Mine, The Alabaster Jar, The Modest Mom, Yes They're All Ours, The Better Mom, To Love, Honor and Vacuum, Messy Marriage, Graced Simplicity

15 comments:

  1. I was married at 19 also. had 35 years of a great marriage. I enjoyed your post and it was a pleasure to read.

    Yvonne.

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    1. It's such a blessing to know others who were married young! Thirty-five years is an amazing accomplishment. :)

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  2. I love this post, and couldn't agree with you more! We got married at 20, and it was the best decision I've ever made! (Probably because we obeyed Christ.). I love marriage so much, and yet it has stretched me far beyond anything else on every level. This is a good thing!! It's refreshing to meet another young lady who is happily married! :). Continue to blog from your heart.
    Blessings,
    Leslie

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    1. Yes! I think that we've been so blessed because this was the Godly decision to make. Thank you so much for your encouragement!! :)

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  3. love this I was 19 too! My hubby was 20 wouldn't change it!!

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    1. Hooray! Another couple married young! :)

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  4. Though I wasn't married quite as young as you, considering I desperately wanted to finish college FIRST, I can completely agree with you on all points! The best thing for me is knowing that my husband will always be there for me, no matter how crazy life gets. He is truly my best friend, and I never imagined marriage would really be like that. :)

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    1. Yes!! Thank you, friend! I agree--it's SO incredibly comforting to know that no matter what life throws at us, Joshua and I will ALWAYS be there for each other. :)

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  5. How sweet! It seems like you and your husband have a very sweet life together. My "unexpected" blessing has been my job with hospice. I thought for sure I'd be sad all the time, but I'm actually happy and living life to the fullest.

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    1. That's amazing! Isn't wonderful how God often works in crazy, unexpected ways? :) Thanks for stopping by!

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  6. In two weeks my husband and I will have been married for 22 years. We didn't get married until we were 25, but we still had a lot of growing up to do. After so many years, we have to remember not to take each other for granted and fall in a rut. But we are best friends (and were long before we ever started dating) and that keeps us going on days when the rut overtakes us. God is definitely present in our marriage.

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    1. What an amazing testimony and example, Diane. Thank you SO much for this. Twenty-two years is incredible, especially considering divorce rates nowadays! Blessings to you and your husband.

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  7. I also got married young, 20. I don't regret it one bit but it has not been easy. It has been almost 20 years and what surprises me about marriage is the intense joy of restoration. After the mistakes have been made, after the love ended, the commitment carried us through, only to allow us to fall in love all over again. But this time it is so much deeper, stronger than the first time. I didn't expect to be happy again after the dry season. But His love endures and by that, redemption was made possible. Blessings to you young bride! Love Rachael @ Inking the Heart (linking with you at What Joy is Mine)

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    1. Oh my goodness, I understand entirely. That is an incredible aspect of marriage...the power of forgiveness and restoration that comes with it! Isn't our God incredible?!? Thank you SO much for this!!

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  8. I agree, Jaimie, marriage definitely has been more than I've expected in all the good and the bad. But I'm grateful for even the bad because, as you've said, God has used it to teach me humility, faith, compassion, well, the list could go on and on! I've been married for 25 years and I still feel like I'm learning to "grow up!" So get used to the feeling, Jaimie! ha! Great thoughts here, my friend. I appreciate your heart and your willingness to share your story.

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