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Monday, March 4, 2013

My Husband's Biggest Fan

If there's anything I've learned in going-on-two-years of marriage, it's the importance of being my husband's biggest supporter and encourager, and his best friend--his own personal cheerleader, if you will. :)  That manifests itself in many ways, and sometimes it seems like it's hard to remember to do the little things--thanking him for helping carry groceries up our 22 stairs, flirting with him throughout the day, and acknowledging how much and how hard he works to support us.  But it's these little things that really make a difference.

As a reminder to myself, and an encouragement to you married ladies out there (and even if you're single, many of these things you can do to support your dad, brothers, and male friends, although I'd recommend ignoring the ones in the "Relational" section!), here are some suggestions for becoming your hubby's biggest fan.

This might seem like a lot.  It really isn't.  It's just little things, that take almost no effort and very little thought.  I hope this is encouraging for you!

Joshua and me on a camping trip, summer of 2011 (how we've changed!)

How to Become Your Husband's Biggest Fan

Speak well of him to others (brag on him!)--including in front of him, to his family and friends, and to his face.  This is such an important thing, but I forget it so much of the time!  It will do your husband's self-esteem worlds of good to hear you tell other people how crazy you are about him.  It's also gratifying for his parents to hear how well they've done raising him!  Compliment him for his talents--notice the things he does well.

Thank him for everything he does (even the seemingly insignificant things).  I'm so bad at this.  I'll ask my husband to dry dishes, for example, and then completely neglect to thank him for it.  Yesterday I came home to find he'd cleaned the bathroom floor, and it wasn't until bedtime that I remembered to say thank you.  The more your husband feels appreciated, the more he'll be glad to help.

Acknowledge his hard work to support you and your family.  I realize that for a busy mother with several small children and a home to care for (especially if you also work outside the home!), it may feel like your husband doesn't do much to help.  But it's his job to work and earn money to support all of you, and he likes to feel appreciated for that as much as you like to feel appreciated for all you do.  It was helpful for me to visit my husband at his job a few times because that opened my eyes to how hard he really does work, and made me appreciate him even more.

Make sure he knows he's your one and only.  Ladies, I can't stress how important this is!  It's fairly straight forward, but even comments like "Hon, you're the only one for me" can make him feel SO good.  Keep your eyes focused on your man!  This will be easier when you also appreciate his physical qualities.  Let him know how good-lookin' you think he is!

Avoid making comments about other guys--even if hubby doesn't care (guys think differently than we women do).  
To women, this may not seem like a big deal.  We might see a guy and comment about how handsome he is.  But when men think about a woman being beautiful, it's harder for them to keep their thoughts pure.  Women's minds aren't usually like that.  It can be a blow for a man to hear his wife commenting about the good looks of another man, because he forgets that she doesn't think the same way he does.  So just keep your mouth shut, ladies.  It's not a sin to think that another man is attractive.  It IS a sin to let your mind wander or to act on that attraction.  Keep your thoughts, heart and words pure!

Flirt with him!  Whisper in his ear things for his hearing only.  This will help with the above bit of advice!  This might even turn up the heat in your romantic life. If anything, you'll get the satisfaction out of driving your husband crazy when you're in public and he can't do anything about it. ;)

Be his best friend.  Hang out with him when you both have any free time.  Go on dates together.  Play games.  Watch movies.  Does he like playing video games?  Play them with him!  (I just started doing this.  My husband thinks I'm awesome. :) )  Look for ways that the two of you can have fun together.  And just be there for him!  You're his God-designed helper. :)

Make him happy to come home and be home.  This is one I struggle with so much.  I tend to have a critical, complaining attitude, and sometimes it's exhausting for my husband to come home and put up with my negativity.  That should not be.  Home needs to be a restful place for your whole family, including you!  Cultivate a cheerful attitude, take pride in taking care of your home, and delight in your husband's being there.

Think well of him--your thoughts lead to feelings/actions/words.  This is fairly straight-forward.  For me, it's mainly about not assuming the worst about my husband, but always the best.

Pray for him.  I can't emphasize the importance of this enough!  More than anything else you can do, praying for him will bless him so much.  Instead of telling girlfriends what frustrates you about your husband (because things do, I know), tell God instead.  Thank God for the blessing your husband is.  Take worries about your husband to the Lord.  Ask God to shape your husband into the man God's created him to be.  Remember that your husband is a child of God just like you are.  Ask to have the kind of unconditional love for your husband that God does.  And know that God answers prayers.

My dear sister, marriage is such an amazing thing.  It's not always easy but oh, it is filled with such good things!  God blesses us so much in this relationship he's designed.  And I want you to always remember that you're not in this alone.  In your struggles, God is there.  He is with you in your joys.  He loves you more than you can imagine.  And he wants your marriage to succeed!  Ask him to help you become the woman he's created you to be.  He will, because he wants the very best for you, your husband and your marriage!

Do you have any ideas or advice to help me and other wives become our husband's biggest fan?

Linking today with: A Proverbs 31 Wife, What Joy is Mine, The Modest Mom, The Better Mom, Raising Arrows,  The Alabaster Jar, Countrified Hicks


  1. You are so SMART to see the importance of all of these things so early in your marriage. I have been married for a little over 12 years, and these things STILL ring true. If we don't make it a daily practice to honor our spouses, we will get out of practice. Don't let that happen, don't let life and kids and friends/family get in the way of one of the most important relationships.

    1. Thank you so very much. We are doing our best to love each other the way God loves us! We're learning every day to be selfless and put each other first. Things work best that way. :)

  2. Hold one to him tight, I'm totally lost without mine although it's been 14 and a half years since he left me.


    1. :( :( You're in my prayers, Yvonne! Joshua and I don't plan to get each other go EVER. :)

  3. so sweet! :) thanks for all the great reminders!

    1. aw, thanks Lora! :) It's a blessing to have you stop by!

  4. Congratulations! Your post is one of the featured for the week. Come grab a featured button and join in the fun again. Remember, you can link up to 3 posts a week!

  5. this is great! thanks so much for some ideas!! God has been teaching me alot about this stuff too. I am so thankful for God's faithful instruction and direction in my marriage, i don't know if we would have made it without Him!
    NOW I think my hubby is pretty stinking awesome! :D Have a blessed day!

    1. Thanks so much, Christine! What a great testimony you have. :) I agree--if it wasn't for God, we'd be in rough shape! But His grace is amazing, and we are so blessed. :)

  6. Great post Jaimie! One of my favorite :)


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