Today I am delighted to welcome Mary Beth from New Life Steward! Mary Beth and her husband have recently welcomed their first son, Thomas. She, therefore, has experience I do not: being a mommy and a wife! She has written a post with some really great, very wise suggestions for cultivating one's marriage after the birth of a baby. This is information I will be glad I have in the future! I hope it's a blessing to you as well. Here is Mary Beth!
|Our first date night after Thomas was born (3 weeks).|
5 Ways to Focus on Your Spouse When a New Baby Arrives:
- Send texts and e-mails throughout the day. If you are reading this, then you likely have easy access to internet either via your computer or your smart phone. Send the love of your life pictures and updates once or twice a day. They don't all have to be about the baby. Remind him of what you love about him. Thank him for working hard to provide for you and the baby. This will help him to feel connected and involved in your day.
- Eat at least one meal a day together, at the table, with no TV or phones. Eating meals as a family is a lost art in our society. However, research shows that families that eat dinner together raise more successful children. It only seems logical that eating with your spouse will enhance that relationship. From the first days of his life, we laid Thomas in a reclining high chair (or his was on the nursing pillow nursing) and ate dinner as a family--even if dinner was just cold cereal. This provided a time to reconnect after my husband had been away work all day.
- Go on dates. Some of the best dates you will have once you enter the parent club are with a newborn in tow. Time it so that you can feed the baby and immediately head out for your date. Odds are, the newest member of the family will sleep through the whole affair. Remember, dates don't have to be expensive. Take a walk together, pack a picnic dinner, or browse Target (a favorite of ours!). Just get out of the house (I know, your mom told you not to take the baby out of the house until he was XX weeks old, it'll be okay. Just throw a blanket over the carrier. That is a universal DO NOT TOUCH sign.)
- Do not neglect the marriage bed. You knew this was coming right? A professor in seminary (I have a Master's in Marriage and Family Counseling from a seminary) once told us that a good indicator of the health of a couple's marriage is the health of their sex life. That's scary, huh? I know the thought of sex probably freaks you out. After all, you either just pushed out a human being or had major surgery to bring the little guy into the world. But when the doctor gives you the all clear, remember your hubby has been patiently waiting for likely over 6 weeks! Inform your husband of the need to be gentle and slow, and then enjoy the wonderful gift of marriage God gave you. Know it will take time to get back to normal, but you will get there!
- Pray together. Parenting is hard. Adding a child to the family is a huge transition no matter how many times you've done it. Take time to pray together for your child(ren), for each other, and for any needs you have. Also remember that thank God for the incomparable gift of your child. Even in the hardest days of parenthood, children are such a treasure.
Linking with: Far Above Rubies; Growing Home; Thankful Homemaker; Time-Warp Wife; Call Me Blessed; Cornerstone Confessions; Lessons from Ivy; To Love, Honor and Vacuum