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Tuesday, June 19, 2012

On Staying Home

Most days this summer, I stay home while Joshua goes to work for eight hours every day.

I don't go back to bed.  (I did that a lot last summer.)  After I make breakfast, we eat, we have devotions, and he leaves, I spend a couple hours reading other blogs and writing my own.  Then I do dishes, some cleaning, some other project, until about 11 when it's time to think about making lunch to take over to Joshua.  I bike over to campus, where we go to school and where he works, with our lunch in my backpack.  After lunch I do dishes, more housework, more reading and writing.

Sounds super-boring when it's in black-and-white like that.  My days don't always follow this schedule, though.  Yesterday I cleaned at one house from 8:30-10, came home, made lunch, biked over lunch, came home, rested for a bit (it was HOT yesterday), biked over to another house for cleaning from 2:30-4:30, stopped at the bank, and THEN came home for the last time and made supper.

Today I have to catch up on cleaning.  And dishes.

I LOVE being at home.  Which is why I've been wondering at myself, why I don't have the get-up-and-go to get more stuff done around here.  I mean, it's not like the entire house is in shambles.  It's not bad.  Not nearly as bad as it gets during the school year sometimes, when my time is really stretched.

I struggle with feeling like I'm lazy, and then Joshua reassures me that I'm not.  I guess if I really think about everything that I do in a day or a week, it's plenty.  I'm not insanely scheduled all the time, but I'm not sitting around constantly, either.

Sometimes I feel guilty for staying home while Joshua works so hard.  I wanted to get a more permanent job this summer, but I wasn't contacted by any of the places I applied.  And God's been gracious...I kind of have three jobs this summer: housecleaning, subbing at the campus library (which I get to do 3 days next week), and working with the catering service on campus, on occasion. I have been working, just not as much as my hard-working husband.

And that, I think, is how it's supposed to be.  I stay busy, at home and with other things.  He makes the bigger paycheck.  I like that setup.  We're a good team.

I guess I'm just in one of those less-than-enthusiastic phases.  Don't get me wrong...I love my life.  So much. We're so blessed, and I wouldn't have things any other way.  But I'm not always as happy-go-lucky as I think I portray myself sometimes.

I'm going to write some more.  And then go clean up the kitchen.  And I'm thankful and blessed for every minute of it.

8 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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    1. Jaime , Please ignore these ugly comments from "Anonymous". The devil is always BUSY!! My goodness!!

      1 Peter 5:8 says; "Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.""

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  2. It's amazing what people will say under the "anonymous" disguise. What happens between you and your husband is up to you guys. Enjoy this time while you are very young and able to rest, and whether you choose to work or not is completely up to both of you.

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  3. I'm sorry that you received a difficult comment after this post. Please be encouraged from another woman who went to school for three years, with the full intent to be a stay-at-home mom (and have been now for three years!), and who is constantly being stretched and worked on by God. This is a season of your life...a season to lay down foundations in your marriage and to grow together. As Abi said, the decisions you make need to be made together between you and Joshua. You two sound like you are spending lots of time in God's Word, and in prayer both solo and together. While we need to be mindful of Proverbs 6:9-11, I guarantee that immersing yourself in God's Word is not a waste of time. If you feel convicted, ask God to show you how to manage you time in a way that honours Him...otherwise, continue doing what you are doing.

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  4. I read this post and really related to what you were saying, but now I have to reply to said anon comment too. A lot of people don't understand where we come from in life, this seems to be the case with anon up there. I hear many feminists say women need more choices, they should do what makes them happy. Then someone likes you takes initiative to go to college, get a good education, with intent to be a homemaker and now you are stupid and irresponsible. We should be respecting each other, not tearing each other down.

    Now, as to what I was originally going to say. I also feel guilty at times because my husband works extremely hard. I asked him just the other day if he would rather me have a job, and his response was "Uh, the house is clean, my laundry is done, I worry about nothing at home, and you cook good food, why would I care about that?!" Keep up the GREAT writing!

    Monica @ theatypicalhousewife.com

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  5. Oh this post struck home with me!!! I have worked full time for the last 4 years. Now that I'm home full time this totally sounds like my day! I feel like I actually got more done when I was working but of course this isn't true. I just actually have some time to spend relaxing! I can actually read a book at night or play a game with my husband lol. I haven't had that in a long time. I am always way too hard on myself and hubby always says that I work really hard...he just doesn't see me all day lol ;). Thanks for the encouragement today!!

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  6. You are an encouragement to so many and a wonderful example of a Godly wife. I would be so sad if you let anonymous get you down. What a terrible, cowardly comment to leave. They should be ashamed, not you. You are beautiful!!

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  7. Blessings on you, darling!! I have been staying at home for 8 plus years now and I still feel this way on occasion. I think it comes from a multitude of reasons, the big ones being the devil (obviously ;)) and society. The devil doesn't want us to follow God's direction for our lives. He really wants us to do things "my" way. That makes life difficult and society adds to that pressure. We live in a society that expects us to leave our family and our home in order to recieve a paycheque. This makes us feel "productive."
    I think sometimes being at home we are more productive and accomplish more than at a "paying" job but can't see it as well. Those places give us a list to compare against. They have objectives for us to meet each day and so we can really tell when we have accomplished something. At home though, we do things just because they need done...and there's always more to do. :) It's never ending at home and you can't "clock out" and walk away. Talk about an opportunity for the devil - discouragement??!!
    I haven't read all your posts but from what I have read, you seem to be on the right track. Seek ye first the kingdom of God... You are doing that so carry on and don't be discouraged! If God has called us to do something, He always provides the means!

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