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Monday, May 7, 2012

I have returned...once again

It's been so long since I wrote, I hardly know where to start up again.

I am humbled and awed to see that in the last two months, I have hardly posted at all, and yet readership has remained steady, if lower than it is when I write regularly.  Thank you all so much for still reading!  I promise to pick up my end of the bargain now and do the writing, so you have something to read. :)

In the last post I said that I was going to share different ways I've been learning lately.  One of the biggest things I've been reminded of lately is:  I'm not perfect, and that's okay.

I've written about this before.  I'm not a perfect student.  I'm not a perfect homemaker, wife, friend, or person. I mess up the bread.  I run at the mouth and say things that upset and embarrass my husband, and sometimes even my friends.  I break the coffee pot (just a large chip off the top, but still).  I have a mountain of laundry sitting in our room for weeks.  (It's finally gone!)  I let the bathroom get positively disgusting before I clean it.  I put off homework until I'm forced to lose sleep to get it done.

That's been me the last few weeks.  Finals week--and before that, "dead week," kicked me in the tush.  It was exhausting.  Now that I don't have homework, I'm trying to figure out what to do with myself.  Then it hit me: write!

(I'm still tired, by the way, so if this post isn't quite sensible, that's my excuse.  Forgive me...I'll get back into the groove soon.)

No, I'm not perfect.  I sin daily.  I mess up with my husband, my friends, my family, and other acquaintances all the time.  I fail to meet my own expectations, and worse, God's.

But God doesn't expect perfection from me.  The Law does, yes.  According to God's law, I have to be perfect, or die.  It's as simple as that.

God does call me to imitate him in his perfection.  But he knows me; he knows I'm a sinner.  He knows I'm literally unable to live a perfect life.

That's why he sent his Son, Jesus.  Jesus is God and man, and as such, he could live a perfect human life in my place.  He took the ultimate punishment of a horrific death and separation from God so that I would never have to experience that.  He transferred his perfection to me, so now when God looks at me, he doesn't see my sinful self.  He sees his perfect Son.

When I do fail to meet God's expectations, he forgives me.  Every time.  Unconditionally.  Over, and over, and over again.  He does all this despite the fact that I disobey him all the time!

My husband forgives me, too.  So do my friends.  A couple weeks ago I unintentionally said something that was rude to one of my dearest friends.  Not two hours later he said to me, "Jaimie, you hardly ever do anything without thinking of someone else."  I'm not sure that I entirely agree with that statement--I can be horribly selfish--but it was the best thing he could have said to me.  I felt completely forgiven.

Just this morning I was quite disrespectful to my husband because he did something that I didn't like.  We apologized to each other and despite my disrespect, he forgave me and loves me still, even though I don't always treat him like I should.

As believers, we have the ability to forgive and love each other, even though we're sinful, because we are also forgiven saints.  Because the Holy Spirit lives in our hearts, we can obey God.  We can love and forgive one another.  We do live lives that honor and glorify God.  In his eyes, we are perfect!!

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