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Monday, September 12, 2011

How my husband loves me, and, more of what I've learned about marriage.

My husband played this for me this morning:
He does such a good job of making me feel special and loved. Like last night, for example. He suggested that we watch "Tangled" when I got home from work, so we did and had tea and brownies. Then I took a long, warm shower, and he lit candles in our room and gave me a massage with my favorite lotion. It was AMAZING, and I just felt so treasured and loved.

I'm constantly learning more about how to love my husband and how to make our marriage a great one. I just posted a comment on the Modern Mrs. Darcy, one of my favorite blogs. And I thought I'd share what I said on there, plus adding to it a bit. (Also, the five tips that Anne shares from John Gottman are excellent!)

So, more of what I've learned about marriage:

Don't sweat the little things. His leaving clothes on the floor or spatters on the toilet seat does NOT mean he doesn't love you and is trying to make things frustrating for you.  t just means that he was a little careless. (You are too, sometimes!) And he is a man. Unless he is the cleaner one of the two of you, those things will happen. You can deal with them. (Now, if there's something you've reminded him about time and time again, he needs to honor that request!)

Avoid criticism, unless it's for a VERY good reason and is constructive and spoken with love.  'm preaching to myself here because I tend to be very critical. If he makes the bed, does the dishes, picks up the living room, does the grocery shopping, or anything else, praise and thank him for it!! Don't focus on what he didn't do the way you would have done. If he got 2% and you normally get skim, ignore that.  See above.)

Pray. A lot. For and with each other. Coming to the Lord in prayer together is a more unifying act than anything else in marriage. Connected with this is worshipping together. Whatever faith you claim, attend your place of worship together regularly!

Eat meals together as much as possible, and try not to eat in front of the TV very often. This is an opportunity to sit down together without any distractions and spend a few minutes talking, laughing and catching up.

Try to do chores together, unless he's at work and you're at home or vice versa. Not only does this get things done quicker, but it's more fun, especially if you put on a CD you both like and blast it loud enough to hear over the vaccuum. Plus, it's easier to make a bed with two people.

Don’t talk about money or anything else that gets you stressed, in bed, especially not right before you go to sleep. The bed and bedroom should be a sanctuary, a place of relaxation, refreshment and peace. Keep your bedroom clean and tidy for the same reason.

Flirt! With each other only, of course, but keep at it like you’re still dating, to keep your love life fresh and fun. :)

The most important aspect of any marriage is FORGIVENESS. You’ll both mess up, a lot. But I figure, considering how much God forgives me, the least I can do is forgive my husband.

Marriage is such a blessing in so many ways.  I'm thankful for all that God is teaching us about each other, ourselves, and Him.  I'm so thankful that I get to live my life with the amazing man that's my husband!


  1. Are you a Stepford Wife? Because you may be a Stepford Wive now... but in about 10 years you'll be a Desperate Housewife.

  2. Are you the same Anonymous who asked why I refer to my husband as "Hubby" or who suggested I start a poetry blog? The poetry blog suggestion wasn't a bad idea, but I don't write enough poetry to do so.

    I don't really know what either of those "wives" are because I don't watch "reality" TV. I'll never be a "Desperate Housewife" though, because I've made a vow to love, cherish, honor, and respect my husband for the rest of my life NO MATTER WHAT. Things won't always be perfect, and I am very well aware of that. Things aren't perfect now, for that matter: great, but not perfect. By God's grace Joshua and I will be very happily married for our entire lives. Honestly, I don't think one lifetime would even be enough for us. I'm more in love with him every day. :)

    Thank you for the opportunity to say that!


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